Looking at the categories I've set up for this blog so far, I'm beginning to get concerned that I am apparently -- considering the number of exorcisms I've held so far -- quite easily possessed by demons. Because of this, I am combining my next two exorcisms into this post, which might fool me into thinking I'm not as bad off as I thought.
There are two bad habits that I've fallen into over the last... well, let's not lie. I've always been this way.
First, I've been dropping the F bomb a lot recently. My husband pointed this out to me, both from reading my blog and from our conversation last night with the local ADULTS. Yes, I'll admit that I've said it a lot here, but last night didn't count. We were talking about the local accent, which turned into other accents, which turned into my telling them about walking behind an extremely angry man in Boston and trying not to laugh at him for saying "Fawhk!" and "I can't fawhking believe that!" because he was extremely angry. I see "fawhk" as being a stand in for fuck, such as fudge, freak, flip and feck (this said with an Irish accent, as in "Feck off, yeh!"). It's not like saying the real thing. Mister mrtl disagreed with me on that, especially because of the looks that I didn't notice I was getting from the couple whenever I said it. (Mister mrtl started this whole conversation by asking if I was drunk at the bar last night. I didn't think I was...)
Second, I proofread my blog entries. Yes, my name is mrtl and I proofread my blog entries... after they've been posted. It's my blog, damn it! For further justification: I was an English teacher, so it was my job; I now do some work as a technical editor, so it is my job; and I am an anal-retentive perfectionist. I don't see anything as finished, but as the latest revision. Besides, I'm not changing content,* just correcting the spelling and grammar errors and typos, misused words, and messing with programming. Furthermore, when I had a diary as a kid, I did it then, too. No, I'm not actually buying any of this bullshit. I do see this as a slippery slope, though, where I start completely reorganizing my entries and adding to them, so I want to nip this in the bud. I think I'll start on this one by changing my default to DRAFT instead of POST.
The problem is that I have a fear of commitment; both of these habits have served me well. Since it's a little too late to ride the Lent party train, and I'm a heathen anyway, I'm going to do my own rip-off of Lent. Forty days from today of not saying fuck fuck fuck (just getting it out of my system - sorry) and proofreading my posted entries. Exceptions will be to use a non-accent version of fuck (e.g., fudge, freak or flip) and to make programming fixes to my posts. Forty days from today will fall on April 1st, so on April 2nd I can unleash my devils (or not) and move on with my life. If it's true that it takes 26 days to form a habit, then forty is insurance. Slip ups... hmmm... how about one dollar for each transgression to Bug? Yeah, that'll work for me.
Now that I've written this I'm getting paranoid. I've read it over five times now to make sure I'm sure that I want to post it. HELP ME!
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*The only content I've changed was in my Valentine's Day post, where mister mrtl fact-checked me on saying that I had received my "first and only" dozen roses from a guy I dated in high school. He said that he bought me a dozen roses. DIDN'T I REMEMBER? (Actually, no. My memory sucks, and his memory is wonderful, and this is always an issue with us.) I felt awful, and trusting his recollection, I changed the text to "first." Then my cloud of flakiness lifted temporarily, having been confused because mister mrtl has always said he'd never give me flowers (doesn't support the industry and the cutting of plants for profit -- or something like that). He did give me roses a couple years ago, but they were potted -- not the same as a dozen -- and died due to his neglect while I was away on a business trip.
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Update 2/26/05
Finding grammatical errors was starting to stress me out. If I don't fix them now, I'll have to remember them all to fix after my 40 days are up. What's the point?
As for the f'ing habit, since I first posted, I've said it 5 times: twice to the cat, once in traffic, once in general conversation (without even realizing it had come out), and once a mutter about the cat.
